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<title>I'm never questioning you again by the_Oli_is_a_lie (oliczek23)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30143769">I'm never questioning you again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliczek23/pseuds/the_Oli_is_a_lie'>the_Oli_is_a_lie (oliczek23)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Gen, I'm cracking up man, Inspired by Fanfiction, Wither - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:15:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>399</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30143769</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliczek23/pseuds/the_Oli_is_a_lie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this in 10 minutes, it's just dumb crack ignore me hdfgseargdf</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ranboo &amp; Sam | Awesamdude, Ranboo &amp; Technoblade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>148</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm never questioning you again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28600815">sana vulnera | Ranboo &amp; Philza &amp; Technoblade | Borealtwt</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexandraMariaAnna/pseuds/AlexandraMariaAnna">AlexandraMariaAnna</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>DISCLAIMER: This fic makes <span class="big"><b>0</b></span> sence without knowing the original so go to "Inspired by" and read it lmao. </p>
<p>IT'S CRACK Y'ALL.</p>
<p>Now on with this shit.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam was quietly gathering some supplies near Tundra biome when suddenly his HUD pinged with info that there was a fucking Wither nearby.</p>
<p>"What the fuck—" Obviously he was far enough that he couldn't even see or hear the beast, but close enough that his HUD picked up on that. Who in their right mind would summon a Withe—</p>
<p>Technoblade.</p>
<p>What was he destroying in the middle of wilderness though?</p>
<p>Nearly as quickly as the mob appeared it started losing health. Very quickly. Was that a spawn by mistake and Technoblade was left fighting the monster he created? That would be fun after what he did recently...</p>
<p>
  <tt>[Wither] was slain by Ranboo using [Axe of Ender]</tt>
</p>
<p>Wait what.</p>
<p>Sam stared at his HUD as the message faded slowly.</p>
<p>...has that bastard attacked a child with a fucking Wither!? Thank fuck Ranboo survived!</p>
<p>The incident only reaffirmed Sam in belief that Technoblade was an uncontrollable bloodthirsty criminal, nothing more.</p>
<p>It was several weeks later that Sam finally got to talk to Ranboo. It was an... <i>experience.</i></p>
<p>"What do you mean you live with Philza and Technoblade? Haven't they tried to kill you before?"</p>
<p>"Ah, just Techno, but he gave up on that—"</p>
<p>"Didn't he send an entire Wither after you?"</p>
<p>"What..?" Sam knew teen's memory was spotty at best, but he would remember something like that, right?</p>
<p>"A few weeks ago? You have slain a Wither. I assumed that it was spawned by Technoblade..." A spark of recognition burst in Ranboo's eyes and he gasped with a wide smile on his face.</p>
<p>"Oh! Right! No, he wasn't trying to kill me! We were trying to make a Wither table!"</p>
<p>
  <i>What.</i>
</p>
<p>Ranboo started rambling, describing the situation, and Sam felt himself sink into the floor. <i>What the fuck.</i></p>
<p>
  <span class="big">
    <i>What the fuck.</i>
  </span>
</p>
<p>"Wait," he cut the kid off before he could add more details. "You're telling me that you wanted to drink some tea with Technoblade, and you didn't have a table so you decided to spawn a Wither to act like a table?"</p>
<p>"I mean— No, that's not what I—"</p>
<p>"But you <i>did</i> spawn a Wither to test out if it can act like a table?"</p>
<p>"Yeah."</p>
<p>Sam threw himself at the wall forehead-first hoping it would knock him out. It didn't. But the blunt pain of the hit gave him enough grounding.</p>
<p>"Yeah okay I'm <i>never</i> questioning you again."</p>
<p>"O-Okay...?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>nfgdsferghfngnfdrfe what is this</p></blockquote></div></div>
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